A Book Commentary
"Advance Your Swagger" Is Common Sense
ROAD BLOCK: Travelers, look for an excerpt of “Advance Your Swagger” on the Book Excerpts Lane when it is released this fall.
By Arelya J. Mitchell, Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
The Mid-South Tribune
The Mid-South Tribune ONLINE
And the Black Information Highway
There’s a new book coming out in September 2007. It’s older than Old School. Yet, many do not realize that what it is preaching and teaching was once upon a time part of what Historical Black Colleges and Universities taught—even though no one wants to talk about it or knows enough to talk about it now. So what was it? Etiquette. You know that subject that elaborates on how to use a knife and fork, how to feel comfortable at the table in a banquet room full of people, strut your stuff because you know your stuff while being humble at the same time.
Again, let’s emphasize “Historical Black Colleges and Universities” known now as HBCU’s. Yes, my African American brothers and sisters, there was a time and a pride that when a young Black man or woman went off to the only higher institute of learning they were allowed to go to, the curriculum included mandatory lessons in etiquette, because it was known that many of these young Black men and women who had the rare ‘privilege and opportunity’ to attend college period were coming literally out of the cotton fields or from sharecroppers’ farms or high-rise ghettos; so these BLACK professors and staff members took it upon themselves to make sure our young people were well-rounded and grounded by passing down ‘etiquette’—manners, home training, table manners—what have you. So, when our young African American people of yesteryear went out into the world they had a swagger of confidence because they knew how to conduct themselves in public, at the table, at a cocktail party, when company came over. Let’s face it, they felt confident because of these etiquette classes. Back then, Black teachers didn’t play. In fact, they were going to make sure every Black derrière that picked up a degree also picked up home training whether they got it from home or not.
All one has to do these days is look at too many multi-million dollar-salaried Black athletes who can’t talk, can’t conduct themselves at a press conference, can’t conduct themselves off the ‘field’ or off the court. But it’s not totally their fault. They’re no longer products of when strict Black teachers took it upon themselves to groom and then release. These were some of the meanest, strictest Black teachers who didn’t mind carrying forth what your mama and daddy wanted them to. The knowledge was passed down and there was a ‘value’ for education and home training that had nothing to do with a dollar bill. This is not to say that they didn’t train these students to deal with the adversity of racism, because they did. There was a rule that Blacks of certain generations were taught either outright or in such a way that you just knew what you were up against: If you were Black, you had to be twice as good or three times as good as your White counterpart. This is what advanced the race. That’s what made us take to the street to demand better because we knew we had to be twice as good or three times as good as our White counterpart and that we were quite capable of doing the job. Whatever job. Even those Black adults who didn’t have the opportunity to finish high school – let alone college or make huge salaries-- held a ‘value’ system that was worth more than all the money in the world: Education and home training.
All my preaching is to say that finally a Black male has come forth with a book that goes back to that value system. How bold of him.
Fonzworth Bentley is readying to release “Advance Your Swagger” (Random House/Villard Press) in September 2007, as mentioned earlier. The book is subtitled: “How to Use Manners, Confidence, and Style to Get Ahead”. Bentley was rap mogul Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ assistant. Bentley is such an advocate of etiquette that GQ magazine christened him “the First Gentleman of Hip Hop”.
We highly recommend “Advance Your Swagger: How to Use Manners, Confidence, and Style to Get Ahead”. To Black parents and guardians, while you’re getting junior his two million dollar tennis shoes, please throw this book in the shopping bag with them. We’ll go even further and say that you Black Church Folk should make it a point of getting this book for your Sunday School goers who may not be getting the ‘home training’ at home or to enforce what they're getting at home. And while you’re doing beautiful Good Samaritan work in other areas of the community, get this book for Black youngsters who were never or seldom exposed to etiquette and home training. To Black parents (actually to all parents), please get this book for young boys (and girls, too, but the focus in this commentary is on our young Black boys). It’s never too early to learn manners.
I also believe Mr. Bentley needs to have face-to-face-sit-down meetings with those mostly White owners and managers who seem to be more interested in getting young Black men on the court or field and not making sure they are ready for press conferences, banquets, business meetings, etc. They are more interested in making sure that these young men are the dollar bills without being the total package; whereas our Black Historical Colleges and Universities made it their mission that they would deliver the total package.
These mostly White male owners and managers bring these young gifted Black men into their franchises and essentially abandon them in other areas that are necessary for the public figures they might become. They are —seeing that they are the older adults and role models (regardless of their race)-- are responsible for the total package whether they like it or not.
But instead what they have managed to do is act 'outraged' at 'boys behaving badly' and put in dress codes because ‘crap’ was getting out of hand. ‘Crap’ they created when they failed to take care of business on the front end. NEVER in a million years would these owners have brought in a young highly-paid executive and NOT taken the time to make sure he/she was not the total package material through training, having manners to conduct themselves at press conferences, at the table, at meetings, at high profile events—you get my drift. To reiterate, in the past our strict mean Black teachers did this with tough love at Black historical colleges and universities.
In my opinion, these White owners and managers have behaved more thuggish than the young Black athletes who get into trouble, because these franchise establishment’s value system is all about the Benjamins. You don’t take these kids who are just getting into their manhood and expect them to behave with total common sense. And frankly, if I see one more Black athlete who cannot form a simple sentence (We don’t even want to bring up a complex or compound sentence) at a press conference, I am going to become extremely unladylike myself. This is ridiculous! NEVER in a million years would they let an executive go out and break verbs on the level that even Stepin’ Fetchit would flinch at in the 21st century, seeing this actor had to endure ridicule to practice his craft!
I urge that every football player, basketball player, baseball player – most of whom are African American (face it!) to purchase “Advance Your Swagger”. See to yourselves if the franchise doesn’t give a hoot, except to come down from the mountain to inflict outrage and punishment when you’re in trouble, because you’re making THEM look bad because a situation has escalated. Interesting how the franchise powers-that-be can take multi-million dollar private jets to the ‘hood’ or elsewhere to handle a ‘juvenile’ problem when the Riot Act should have been read and enforced before these mostly Black athletes stepped foot into the professional realm.
These franchise owners and managers should have enough common sense as older adults to realize that professional sports ironically is a continuation of a youth’s college-level education until he becomes a seasoned 'professional' athlete. Why? Because they are still young (and sometimes just downright stupid!). Even the military has enough sense to realize military etiquette (protocol) is needed to increase discipline, self-control, and confidence. I mean I’ve never heard a young Black soldier giving an interview saying ‘Is you’ or ‘We is’ or ‘I goes’ or ‘them people’. And certainly Colin Powell never would have advanced if that passé word ‘etiquette’ hadn’t been entrenched in his military training. (Now I am not saying that a ‘whom’ or an ‘It is I’ always should be the standard— but just that basic grammar should suffice.). I doubt very seriously if McDonald’s would have dealt with Michael Jordan if he said, ‘Them Big Macs show is good’ or if he sat down at a corporate dinner meeting with Nike and started slopping down his food and talking while showing processed food.
And let me get more politically incorrect: When these young athletes are signed up, they should be given –yes, dears, a mandatory etiquette class to learn how to handle press conferences, talk, sit— aka home training—that will take them further when they can no longer sprint down across the field or travel down the court (Admittedly, I still can't understand why 'traveling' down a basketball court is a bad thing-- but that's another subject). If these multi-billion dollar sports franchises can pay out millions in salaries then they need to take the time to provide etiquette courses that some of these young people did not have the opportunity to get because etiquette still has the stigma of being defunct and stuck up.
Being a ‘gentleman’ (when called for) is not the same as being stuck up. Come on, Black people, let’s get back to our ‘roots’ and our ‘values’ – back to that time when we knew having manners was about respect and not subjugation. Yes, I am the first one to say that there are times when one has to fight back or assert oneself over vital issues such as civil rights, human rights, and self-defense. (As a Black business woman I have to assert myself on non-pretty occasions). That’s common sense, too. But this is about everyday living when every day is not a crisis.
As an African American newspaper, we urge these billion-dollar sports franchise owners to get this "Advance Your Swagger" for all their players and for them put aside monies in their multi-billion dollar budget (including funds used for their private jets flights to delve out punishments) to make mandatory that each and every player (regardless of race, color, or creed) take an etiquette course before they hit the field (or court) running
It is about time a Black male takes up the reins of Emily Post.
Mr. Bentley, we thank you for having the balls to write this much-needed book.
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E-mail: ArelyaJMitchell@prodigy.net