"Coon Tails" now available wherever books are sold!
A Tar Pit Selection for being political satire in a politically correct world
An Excerpt from "COON TAILS AND OTHER SHORT STORIES" by Sharia Kharif
(Kobalt Publishers, www.kobalt.com ; author's website www.indigoreign.com )
"Black Boy Dontcha Run"
By Sharia Kharif
You know, folks used to say we folks were born with tails just like monkeys. Them doctors couldn’t find none, so they just say them tails fall off, but we all still monkeys. That way, they ain’t have to believe we were human and deserving of respect. Nope. As long as they could believe we were animals, they could go on treating us that way and never truly free us, you know? That’s that Greatgrandaddy Jonah say. Well, ‘round Freedom town, it wasn’t nothing but Black folks working together all human like. Wasn’t no person talkin’ ‘bout can’t go here, can’t go there, sho can’t say this, and don’t even think about doing that. Probably on account of them folks not knowing where Freedom was.
Anyhow, whatever the reason, it was awful peaceful ‘round the human folks. Them animalsfolks, thought, they were having some problems. Rioting and such. Cows stopped associating with the mules. Chickens didn’t like the ducks. America and Greed got to fighting each other, and their daughter, Coon, was at odds with her three younguns. This their story. Not America’s cuz ain’t much more to say ‘bout her. Sho nuff not Greed’s cuz that cat wasn’t ‘bout nothing from the getgo. Coon’s.
Coon was America and Greed’s second child. The first was Injun, little red-brown thing pretty as you please, with the second sweetest temperament in all creation. Didn’t mess with nobody and only fought if he had to. Got run off and hurt real bad. Think Greed done it, but he swear it was Humanity out for revenge. Whatever. Don’t nobody believe nothing Greed got so say. Humanity was the sweetest cat in all creation. Found
Himself someone else, and had himself a son named of Equality right about the same time America had Coon.
Those two grew up together chasing birds and catching mice, splashing in the creek and what have you. Seems only right that they got married and had a couple of younguns. What you mean “who”? Coon and Equality. You really gotta start paying attention. Coon and Equality got married and had a couple of younguns. Three really, and it was awful hard for Coon to get along with ‘em. Equality had no problems. His sons loved him, but Coon was at her “wits end,” as Greatgrandaddy Jonah used to say. Course, Coon grew up in that house almost like she didn’t belong. I guess that’s why she and Equality got along so well. He always made her feel comfortable.
Anyway, look at me running off at the mouth. Done forgot that the story was about and everything. What was I saying? Whew! Now look at me asking you questions like you gonna be able to answer me. Got a story ‘bout that, but this here story’s about Coon, Equality and their three sons, Negro, Colored, and Black. Equality thought it was only right that they get good, proper names like Justice, Honor, and Peace you see? But Coon ain’t wanna hear all that and named her kids like her daddy say to. Think maybe she think he like her a lil better, but like I said before, Greed wasn’t worth nothing. Nothing at all. Anyway… Equality knew it was gonna be hard for ‘em growing up, and soon as they were able, he got to teaching them boys how to fight.
“Now you boys listen up,” he say, “you get attacked, don’t you kick and scratch and bite and scream. You just look that bully in the eye and say ‘Gone on and leave me be.”
Well, Negro, Colored, and Black didn’t wanna upset their mama, so they ain’t say a word. They had no intention of fighting. No sir. Them boys knew that as soon as you get to fighting, you can’t never stop. So, they ain’t say a word. They just nodded their little black heads and kept quiet, ‘til Coon just let ‘em be and walked off wondering why they never listen to what she say. Equality showed them boys how to survive. “You tell ‘em ‘Gone on and leave me be,’ and if they don’t, well … if they don’t you just gotta let ignunt folks be ignunt. Let ‘em talk but don’t say nothing back. Let ‘em hit ya but don’t you hit ‘em back. Yall hear me?”
Them boys say, “Yes, Paw” or some such thing, and head up to the creek to think things over. They had to be real careful though, cuz there was a mean old ‘possum lived round them parts that liked to start stuff. Ignunt, he was, and proud of it. Didn’t see no problem with messing with folks. This particular day, Percy ‘Possum felt inclined to mess with them boys. Possum saw them boys… Negro, Colored, and Black… in case you forgot… walking down the hill toward the creek, got himself an idea, and jumped behind some bushes. Well, Negro, Colored, and Black ain’t know nothin’ ‘bout Percy Possum’s idea, so they head on down to the creek anyway.
“Negro,” Colored say, “what you think ‘bout this whole fightin’ thing?”
Negro look at his brother and say, “Well, Paw say it’ll work. What you think?”
Colored ain’t say much at first, but soon they reached their favorite tree alongside the creek, and settled in good to think the day away, Colored say, “Well, Negro, I s’pose you right.”
“Of course, I is,” say Negro. “I’m the oldest ain’t I? Paw say we shouldn’t oughta fight, so we aint gon’ fight. We gon’ say ‘Gone on and leave me be’ just like Paw say, and let ignunt folks be ignunt.”
Them boys ain’t know that mean old ‘possum was sitting and waiting, listening to every word that come out they little cat mouths. They ain’t know ‘bout his idea, same way they ain’t know how Black felt ‘bout this whole no fighting thing. He was the youngest, so wasn’t nobody trying to hear what he had to say, anyway. They ain’t much care what he thought about the matter. “Gone on and leave me be,” say Negro. “I like the sound of that. Too bad Mama don’t like it. Grampa Greed ain’t like it neither, but he don’t like much of nothin’.”
“Awww… ain’t nobody care bout no Grampa Greed. He do like it. All that get hit but don’t hit back mess. He love that. It’s Granny ‘Merica the one hate it. Say it remind her to much of slavery days.”
Black was bout to say he just didn’t agree at all, and while his brothers let anyoldbody beat’em up, he wasn’t having it. But they ain’t ask him nothing.
“Just ain’t no use in fighting,” Colored went on to say. “Like it or not, Paw say and Paw’s right.”
Black was ‘bout to say that Paw ain’t never have to fight nobody in his life, so how he know? He was ‘bout to ask them two brothers of his if they had sludge for brains, but right at that moment mean old Percy Possum jump out of the bushes. Like to scare Colored and Negro half to death. Black just look at that old ‘possum and yawn all sleepy like.
“What yall doin’ round here?” Percy ask. “Don’t yall know I’ll tear yall up, lil ugly things?” Colored and Negro ‘bout pass out, but Black just stretch his body real good and yawn like he ‘bout to fall asleep. “So you ain’t gon’ say nothin’, hun? Come here so’s I can hit ya.” Negro looked at Colored and Colored looked at Negro. Black just shut his big pretty eyes and yawn again real sleepy like. “Come on over here, boys, and take your whuppin like a man.” Again, Negro looked at Colored and Colored looked at Negro. Paw say they not to hit back, he ain’t say they supposed to invite the whuppin’. So them boys stay right where they were. Sho did.
“Gone on and leave us be ‘possum,” they say, but Percy just laugh. Black scratched his little cat belly and yawned real big. Well, when them three ain’t pay Percy no attention, he just got up and went to them. Percy, “Negro! I’s gone teach you a lesson,” and he proceed to smack Negro around. Colored got to crying, and Black just roll them big pretty eyes. If they were gonna let the ‘possum beat them up, that was their business, but he sho nuff wasn’t gonna get a whuppin’ his ownself. No sir. Soon enough, Negro broke free from that ‘possum and took off into the woods.
Colored was still crying, and got to crying even more once Negro took off running. He was just a-crying “waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa.” Cried so long and hard, he got himself a headache. Yes he did. Just “waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa,” ‘til Black was ret to smack him his ownself. Didn’t have to, though, cuz soon as Percy Possum look at Colored, he drop to the ground like he been hit. Boom! Colored lay there just a-screaming and crying “waaaa waaaaa waaaa.” I tell ya, Black was ‘bout ret to whup his brother his ownself, but didn’t. If Colored wasn’t gonna do nothin’, neither was he. That possum smack Colored so hard he stop crying and take off after Negro. Black just shook his little cat head and sucked his teeth “tsk” at his brothers.
“What about you, Black? You gone take yo whuppin like yo brothers done? I gots plenty more,” Percy say. Black just suck his teeth “tsk” and ignore that ‘possum. “I know you hear me over there! Come on here and take yo whuppin’!”
Black laugh and say, “Whuppin’? You won’ whup me?”
Percy say, “Sho is.”
Black just scratch his little cat belly, such his teeth again “tsk” and say, “You can try, but you ain’t gon’ be whuppin me.” Then he roll his eyes and make like that ‘possum wasn’t even there.
Possum say, “You sho is sassy,” and go to where Black lay curled up all comfy like, ready to give Black a whuppin;. Before Percy could knock that boy upside his head good, Black was up and swinging. He was on that ‘possum like white on rice, like wet on water, like flies on stank. Tore that ‘possum up! Whew! Had Percy screamin’ and a-crying just “waaa waaaaa waaaa,” Black whup him so bad. Swung him round his head like he was throwing a lasso, tossed him on the ground like he was thrashing wheat, then laid him out like a tablecloth. Sho did. When that ‘possum can’t take no more, Black let him go. Yeah, he let go that ‘possum, raised his foot off his neck, and say just like Paw taught him to, “Now, gone on and leave me be.”
Percy Possum took off running for home. Don’t come out til night when he know that cat ain’t gon be around to give him another whuppin. Black? Well, he lay back down in his shady spot and took himself a lil nap. Colored took to staying home and was hardly ever seen again. Every now and then some old folks who ain’t been out and about in a while speak him up. Negro healed up good, but still only came out when he had to for some fancy function his granny America force him to go to. Black was still seen all the time. Everywhere. Wasn’t even the slightest bit afraid of showin’ his face. Seem like everywhere I went, I heard his name. It was “Black this,” and “Black that.” And I always saw him hanging around. In the city, in schools, everywhere. Most times though, he was seen around the creek, curled up in the shade taking a nap. He’d fought for that spot, after all. He sho nuff was gonna use it.
Now gon on and leave me be.
***
“Coon Tails and Other Short Stories" is now available in bookstores and book retailers everywhere.