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By Dr. Janet Scott

The Mid-South Tribune

The Mid-South Tribune ONLINE

And the Black Information Highway


Letís Take Control of Self

            The world has now moved further into the new millennium. In the beginning of each new year, people have the desire to internalize the air of newness. They see this as a chance to throw out the old and bring in the new. They long for the opportunity to rid themselves of their old habits, attitudes, behaviors and feelings. They want to change their style of living. What better occasion than now to seize the moment to begin to take some control over your destiny?


            The definition of control according to Websterís Dictionary is to exercise dominating influence or authority over, direct. When one thinks of the word control it is often viewed in the context of being negative .It is often related to the loss of freedom.

            Being able to control yourself is a meaningful factor in oneís life. It allows you to be responsible for your actions. You provide the direction in which you want your life to head. This means setting goals for yourself. Set realistic and obtainable goals. It is imperative to devise a plan that is your road map for the year.

            Allowing yourself to be the captain of your life means letting go of the past that has been steering your life for a long time. Take back from whomever or whatever has brought pain, hurt and suffering to your life. It is time to release the emotional and mental baggage that has been weighing you down. The amount of control you have on your life today is reflective in whether you live your life as you oar you allow the feelings from the past to direct your life journey!

            Taking control of your life includes thinking positive. All behavior starts with a thought. Our thoughts guide our actions. They can be positive or negative. Your thinking and attitude are the filters through which you view your life. You are able to develop and shape your attitude through your thinking. Your thinking impacts your behavior. This in turn results in rewards or consequences. Being positive allows you to see alternatives, provides motivation and gives you the courage to deal with adversities. Negativity creates depression and stagnation.

            Taking control of your life is consistent and dedicated work. The payoff is worth the time and effort.

            The following is a short list of what is included in taking control of your life:

1). Accepting you are today.

2). Giving forgiveness to yourself

3). Doing some of the things you wanted to do but never took the time to do them.

4). Eating in a healthy manner

5). Have a weekly exercise plan

6). Being able to laugh at yourself

7). Surrounding yourself with positive people

8). Defining your reality

9). Letting go of the past

10). Not getting bogged down with the little things

11). Devising a goal plan

12). Believing in yourself

13). Being willing to take risks

14). Not being afraid to fall

15). When you stumble you get back up.

16. Living each day to the fullest

17. Giving yourself permission to have fun

18. Realizing  it is okay to say no sometimes

19. Understanding that you do not have to try to please everyone

20). Learning to be honest with yourself

21). Not allowing others to define who you are.

22). Accepting responsibilities for your actions

23). Seeking professional help when it is needed


            Taking control of your life encompasses all aspects of your being. It means that you are in charge of your thinking and behavior. You are responsible for you. You can wallow in your madness or you can decide to take some action. What is it going to be? How you live each day in the year is in your hands.



Dr. Scott is a contributing columnist for The Mid-South Tribune. She is a National Board Certified Counselor and a Tennessee licensed professional counselor with a mental health provider designation offering individual, group, couple and family therapy. Her office is located at 1331 Union Ave., Memphis, TN. 38104; phone: 901-722-8751.






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